fivehundred'nineteen

if you've ever had one of those times when you've clutched a pen or something else in your hand for a long time, only to look down and be surprised that you are still holding it long after your need for it had passed, you'll understand sometimes we get so use to holding that we forget to let go.

fivehundred'eighteen

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

fivehundred'seventeen

It hurts to love someone when we can't tell them what we really feel because sometimes we get hurt without them knowing. We get jealous even if we know we have no right to feel that way. We want their time even if we are not in the position to demand for it. Although our hearts are breaking in silence, we still continue to love them because somehow in this hurtful love, there is still hope of having simple moments with them even if it just means being a friend. You just have to let me in.

fivehundred'sixteen

Look, I know you don't care anymore. I know I'm just a part of your past that you left behind. And it sucks that I have to watch my life pass me by because I can't stop thinking about what happened. I miss you, like crazy. And it's been so hard not talking to you anymore. It's too hard not hearing anything about you anymore. You're all I think about. And it is driving me insane. Why? Just, why? What happened with us? Did you just stop caring one day? Did you never even care from the start? I know I shouldn't be hung up on this. I know I should just let it go, and let whatever happens, happen. But I can't. It won't leave my mind. And until I hear from you again, I will be a mess.

fivehundred'fifteen

It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. There's no point in going through all this crap if you're not going to enjoy the ride and you know what? When you least expect it, something great might come along, something better than what you planned for.

fivehundred'fourteen

I want a simple love that is full of laughter and smiles
and is never-ending, I want to hole someone's hand
and know I'm home. I want to wear a pretty white dress
and walk into a chapel and watch his face light up. I want
to be naive, head-over-heels, and completely senseless
but completely in love. I want to sit in rocking chairs at
80 years old, next to the one person who never left and who
made me better, and not regret one single second of my life. 
I hope to find this someday. I long to find this.

fivehundred'thirteen

When you love someone, when you truly love someone, they become your life, your everything. They change you and inspire you in so many different ways that are indescribable. How do you let go of someone who has made such an impact on your life? How do you let go of the one thing that keeps you going, that keeps you strong? 
Answer: You don't.

fivehundred'twelve

I know your unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down - I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, does that sound corny. But you know that right? That I would never hurt you?

fivehundred'eleven

I guess I'm learning, little by little, that we decide what our lives are going to be. Things happen to us, but it's our reactions that mattter.

fivehundred'ten

I am like..
a bird given wings, but put in a cage.
a singer stripped of a voice but shoved on stage.
a writer without a pen but given a blank page.
a girl who gave her heart but the boy walked away. 

fivehundred'nine

Sometimes, I wish you'd pay more attention to my favourite songs because the lyrics sing the words I'm too scared to say.

fivehundred'eight

A psychologist once said something to me. He said that the majority of people live within a box, and that's their entire reality. All they see is inside of the box, and they're 'asleep' to anything else. People that have suffered from some form of mental illness are 'awake' because they've seen the reality outside the box. He said no matter how hard people try to put the person back inside the box, they will never fit, because they have seen something beyond it all.

fivehundred'seven

Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence. And absence to value presence.

fivehundred'six

You're the closest thing I have to bring up in a conversation about love that didn't last. But I could never call you mine because you never called me yours. It's not that our love died, it just never really bloomed. No, I can't let go of you. You're holding me back without even trying to. I can't let go, I can't move on from the past. Without lifting a finger, you're holding me back. No, we didn't die, we just never had a chance to grow. It might not make much sense to you or any of my friends, but somehow you still affect the things I do. You can't lose what you never had.

fivehundred'five

I want to say I deserve better, and mean it.
I want to say I give up, and believe it.
I want to say I'm moving on, and do it.

fivehundred'four

Sometimes I just feel so lost, so out of place. You know what I mean? Like when you wake up in the morning, but you feel more at home when you're asleep. When you go to places you've gone your entire life, and you look around at everyone and you realise that you're someone you don't belong. When you're driving down those roads, wondering if twenty years from now you'll still be driving these same roads. Sometimes when we become too lost, we fear every move we make. Because more often then not, those who are lost do not know where they are going, or even why they are going; they just know they have to keep on going. And when things have been going wrong for too long, they feel there is something being done wrong, so they travel in circles. Relapse after relapse. Right turn, wrong turn. Another right, but another wrong. They are in search of something to fill the empty space in their hear from the absence of something lost. And most of the time we find ourselves lost mearly because we were looking for something that is long gone.

fivehundred'three

When I say I’m ugly: I’m serious. At times, don't get me wrong, I think I'm a bit decent looking. But overall, I think I'm so unattractive. I'm not fishing for compliments. There are so many stunning girls, I can't even compare. Whatever they do, whether it's making silly faces, anything, they're still pretty while doing it. I wish I was more appealing. Honestly.

fivehundred'two

What messes us up the most, is that we all have this perfect picture in our minds of how things should be.

fivehundred'one

Never let lying become a reflex.
Keep an eye on the holes you dig. 
Those webs can suffocate you.


Trust me, I've lived that life.

fivehundred

I know with you being so far away, we've drifted apart. But I still think about you everyday. I still miss you. I still care for you so much. When you first stopped speaking to me I still hoped you'd be back, even for a while. But it's been so long now. You haven't written in months. I wonder what you're up to. I wonder why you stopped caring. I hate this silence between us. I don't even know what you feel. It seemed like you still missed me the last time we spoke. And then that was that. No word from you since. And yet I still wait. Because that's how much I've missed you...

fourhundred'ninetynine

I sit and wonder about your whereabouts, while my own life is going nowhere. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get it right, if I'll ever see you again, if it's all one big joke... Maybe there really isn't such a thing as fate. Maybe we live and we die, and that's all there is to it. Maybe the outcome of our life really depends on how we choose to live it, not by praying and wishing on a sign to direct us. These moments count. And I realised I don't want to waste another one without you.

fourhundred'ninetyeight

I don't blame you for not loving me back. I don't even love me, so I understand why you didn't.

fourhundred'ninetyseven

Don't worry. She's prettier, funnier, smarter, thinner. I wouldn't choose me either.

fourhundred'ninetysix

What I don't understand is how you think it's okay to hurt me the way you do. There were days that I couldn't wait to talk to you, or see you. But it's not like you ever cared about me. But I cared about you. I always did.

fourhundred'ninetyfive

If there's just one piece of advice I can give you, it's this:
When there's something you really want - fight for it, don't give up not matter how hopeless it seems. And when you've lost hope, ask yourself if ten years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it one more shot.. Because the best things in life, they don't come free.

fourhundred'ninetyfour

Sometimes, all it takes is a little while until we see the big picture. We spend a good amount of our lives being naive, searching for answers - more likely than not, the wrong ones. And as we grow older, we look back at the past and the things we've done, but not with regret. There's just a point in life when certain things don't matter and we all realise that the more we discover about life, the wiser we become. Helping us create the life that we deserve.

fourhundred'ninetythree

The great thing about music is that it can just take you away. We all know that feeling when we hear a song that instantly catches our attention. Whether is was because the lyrics being sung were the same as our thoughts, or the rhythm was enough to keep us there. The feeling is wonderful. Music brings us all together. We're all singing that chorus, knowing we are not alone. Music can take us back. It can give us hope. Why does music make us feel so invisible? Because there is no escape from it, we know it.

fourhundred'ninetytwo

I just want you to know I miss you like crazy. I miss everything about you. I know she loves you, and you love her, and she deserves you, she's a good person... So I'm not going to tell you how I feel.. I wouldnt have the guts or the way to tell you anyway. But I do miss you. Every day. And it still hurts. Every day. And I know we can't go back, so I'm sorry for whatever it is I did to make you not love me anymore. I guess we weren't meant to be. It just feels like we didn't have a chance from the start. Well, you're happy now, so I have got to stop this. I don't know how long it will take. Or how much it will hurt. If it were up to me I'd be way over it by now so I could be your friend. But I guess life doesn't work that way. But I really need to stop crying. And stop thinking about you. It's becoming too much. I know I'll be okay. I will. It just takes some time. Hopefully by the time I'm over you, you're still gonna want to be my friend. Because I really do miss you, and I miss us too. But mostly, I just miss you, I want to be a part of your life, even if it isn't the important one anymore. I just wanna know I still mean something to you. I want to still be able to make you smile. I know it would mean merely nothing compared to the girl who now lights up your world, but at least it would be something. Because everyone deserves to smile right. And I like it when I make you smile. I miss you. 

fourhundred'ninetyone

I hate being put in this position. I'm forcing myself to let go of the one person I need in my life. You're the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me. I know that I'm better off without you, but I feel empty whenever I try to let go. But I guess that emptiness is better than constant hurt.

fourhundred'ninety

There are certain people who come into your life and leave a mark.
Their place in your heart is tender, a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their name pushes and pulls at you in a hundred different ways, and when you try to define those ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless.

fourhundred'eightynine

Love is when you find someone who doesn't meet all your expectations, yet you still say
"finally, I've found the right one."

fourhundred'eightyeight

I want to spend a day inside your head to see what you really think. Because, frankly, what you say and how you act, just don't add up.

fourhundred'eightyseven

I've been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say you've been waiting too, and you haven't and maybe you never will or maybe you're afraid to. But it hurts all the same, and in the end, I'm the one that's left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I'm the one who's crying, so screw the bad timing. I loved you then, like I love you now, like I proberly always will..

fourhundred'eightysix

The one thing I hate the most is saying goodbye. It's never been easy for me. I mean, how do you approach the concept of goodbye? Goodbyes are all different. Some are for a day, some are for a month. But others are forever. And the concept of forever is hard to accept. It's like, hey, I'm never going to speak to you again, goodbye. It doesn't feel complete. But I think that's what goodbyes are. They're incomplete and you honestly don't know how long the goodbye will last. It's a part of life.

fourhundred'eightyfive

I remember when you said you cared too much about me to actually hurt me. Well it's okay. You don't have to worry about me being hurt. My eyes only water at night. And my heart only aches when I think of you. And my head, it constantly tells me I should've been better. And why haven't gotten my act together? My flaws only show when I think about her by your side. It's not hard, I mean the pain inside is all I have to hide. My smile's only gone, and my friends never ask what's wrong. It's only my days that don't ever go my way, and my life that I have to pretend is okay. But I'm fine, no lie. Sometimes you get used to just getting by. It's only love that fades, and I guess I was only a mistake you made. You thought I'd be okay, when you walked away. You left me for her and thought it wouldn't hurt.

Who were you kidding?

fourhundred'eightyfour

I couldn't tell you why me and her are best friends, because you wouldn't understand. The explanation is full of too many inside jokes and made up words. It's full of too much care and too many tears, too many laughs and too many blonde moments. I don't think I will ever be able to give you a better reason except...
She has always been there.

fourhundred'eightythree

Everything has changed. Neither one of us is the same as we were back then. Times has made everything different. I don't know who you are anymore. What you like, what you do. I don't even know how you're doing. I used to know everything. I can't believe how far apart we have come...

fourhundred'eightytwo

You know, I think about him a lot. I think about the times we talking for hours, even the times we talked for a few minutes. I'm always so happy when I would hear from him. Because I know it means he is thinking about me. But it's been awhile now, and no word from him at all. The months will just keep going by. Sometimes when I miss him so much and just want to hear from him, I get the courage to just email him myself. But something always stops me. Fear. I'm so afraid he wouldn't want to talk to me. I'll be typing up something to say and I'll just stop and think, what the hell am I doing? If he wanted to talk to me, he would. If he wanted to know how I was, he would ask. So another month goes by. And another. And it hurts, because we used to be so close. But sometimes, I wonder if he thinks the same thing....

fourhundred'eightyone

It's hard not seeing you everyday. It's hard getting up in the morning and knowing my day has nothing to do with you. Everything goes on as if we were never together in the first place. Sometimes I find myself missing you less, and other days I can't bare a thought of you without wanting to cry. I miss you, I know this. But everyday we aren't together anymore I am slowly moving on, and I don't want that. I wonder if your feelings are lessening for me too. I don't want things to be like this - Do you? It's hard knowing I'm not the one you are thinking about. I'm not the one at home talking to you every day. I'm not the one who makes your heart race anymore. I drifted out of your life. And soon enough, you won't care at all. And once again, I'll be miserable, wishing I could have fixed all my mistakes, everything I did wrong. I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do to have you back. I'm scared there is, but I just don't know what..

fourhundred'eighty

Sometimes I wish I had never met you because then I could go to bed at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

fourhundred'seventynine

I knew from the day we met
You would be so hard to forget.

fourhundred'seventyeight

At times, I do miss being your girlfriend. The one you looked forward to seeing every day. The one who lit up your world. The only reason for your happiness. But right now, more than anything, I just miss being in your life. It's been weeks since we have talked. Soon it will turn into months. I wish things didn't end the way they did. I really miss you. It's enough to make my heart ache. When I think about the happiness that was brought to me every time you were around. I wonder, do you ever think the same? 
I know I should move on but something is holding me back...

fourhundred'seventyseven

I don't know what to say anymore. My mind runs blank every time I open up the page where I used to spill my heart. I used to have so much to say, now I can barely write a sentence. It's you. You have the affect on me. You walked into my life, and I can't find a place for you just yet. I'm lost for words, yet my heart is screaming with the things I want to say to you.

fourhundred'seventysix

I can't even remember the day I truly got over you, the day the pain went away and my heart received clarity. I can't remember it but I'm so thankful. I'm thankful that all the wasted hours thinking of you and waiting for your call and the way you used me is all finally over. And I am happy. I'm happy to live life without you holding me down. Keeping my mind and my heart contained. 

fourhundred'seventyfive

After a while, it starts to hurt less, and you finally find yourself smiling again.

fourhundred'seventyfour

I looked back on us today, and I honestly don't know why I missed you, and why I wanted you back. Sure, at the beginning we were kids rushing into things we had no idea what about, but slowly, instead of trusting you more, I trusted you less, and the more I loved you, the less I loved myself. But now I'm free, and I'm not sorry. I had to get out. I knew it was over long before you said it. And I thought you broke my heart, but you just made it stronger, making it more resilient. Of course I'll never forget you, and I'll always miss you, but I won't go back. So finally I can say, goodbye my first love. Thank you for being such a fabulous waste of time.

fourhundred'seventythree

Have you ever wanted something, so badly, that it literally made you heart hurt? And every time you thought of whatever you wanted, and realised that you couldn't have it, your stomach would just drop because you know that you would never ever have, hold, touch, or get what you wanted. And sometimes that thing was so close, but in reality, it was the furthest thing away. It's the worst feeling in the world.

fourhundred'seventytwo

It's like I realised that way down inside, I've always been lonely for something, but I don't know what for. It's like everybody in the world wants something only they never really know exactly what it is.. They just keep finding out what it's not. You know how when you turn off the TV or take out your headphones and everything just feels so empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't?

fourhundred'seventyone

Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're the only one in the world who's struggling. Who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. That feeling is a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you.

fourhundred'seventy

They say everything happens for a reason. But sometimes I still question it all and search for the reasons why things turned out the way they did, and the way they didn't. I still wonder if maybe it's me that's buried way back there in the back of your mind. Tell me, every time a relationship doesn't work out, or you're feeling lonely, is it me you think of? Is there still a part of your conscious telling you that you can't live without me? Every time you think of me, does it hurt knowing you threw me away? Am I anything to you at all now? Is she better than me? Tell me, is her love worth more than what we were? I can't go on not knowing...