threehundred'seventythree

Because sometimes people do actually feel that way. Sometimes your life feels like it's caving in on you. Sometimes people really do feel like they don't want to exist, like they want to curl up into a ball and go into that place between life and death. Saying "I don't want to exist" is not the same as "I want to die". It's saying "I wish that, for the time being, I could go somewhere and not have to feel." I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. And if you don't know how it feels to feel this way, then you have no right to judge anyone who does.

threehundred'seventytwo

I hate this because I'm really not okay. All day long I help out my family, my friends, you know whenever they need me. I smile and laugh and pretend to enjoy my day. But I'm honestly such a mess. Some nights lying in bed, I just cry. No one's around to hear. I can't take it sometimes. I hate talking about my problems, I'd rather just help somebody. I hate going on like this, like I'm gonna be okay, like things are eventually going to be okay. Well it's been so long now and they haven't got better. They've started getting worse. I know the saying, it has to get worse before it gets better, but when does the better part start? Seriously? How much more worse is it going to get? I hate this. I just want to stop. I want to be okay. I love my family and friends so much and I don't want them to know I'm such a wreak. I don't want them to know I am falling apart. I want their help and comfort but at the same time I  want them to think I'm fine. I just don't know what to do... I want to be okay.

threehundred'seventyone

Right now I want a word that describes the feeling you get - a cold, sick feeling deep down inside - when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, the very first time, that there will be now a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again be quite the same person as you were. 

threehundred'seventy

I'm hoping for the day you meet a girl who treats people like you do. I hope you fall for her, and I hope she makes you think she fell for you too. And while you're planning your life together, I hope she gets up and walks right out the door. I hope you never see her again, and I hope that breaks your fucking heart.

threehundred'sixtynine

The days will always be brighter because he existed. The nights will always be darker because he's gone. And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds. the truth is there are certain sorrows that never fade until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.

threehundred'sixtyeight

Because you don't deserve it. A second chance, let alone a third, fourth, fifth, sixth. I'm mad and sad, mostly I'm jealous because I wish I'd had as many chances as you've been given. Because I know I'd take it seriously. I wouldn't take advantage of anyone. I wouldn't lead anyone on. I would try my hardest not to hurt anyone, and that is so much more than I can say for you. I guess you're just used to getting whatever you want and playing people. I'm done. Don't ever talk to me.

threehundred'sixtyseven

I know in the back of my mind that my life would be so much easier if I never talked to you again, if I just shut you out of my life and moved on I could finally get over you. But you're the only thing that makes me happy. Whether it's right or wrong. And I just don't have the strength to give up on that.

threehundred'sixtysix

Sometimes it's better to push someone away.
Not because you don't love them anymore, 
but to sheild yourself from the pain they cause.

threehundred'sixtyfive

What do you want me to say? Yes. You're right. We're just one big walking disaster and yeah, my life might be easier if I just walked right out that door now - I know that. But the thing is, I already know that nothing on the other side of that door could ever come close to making me as happy as I am when I'm with you. That's why I'm here, because I love you. No matter how things get, no matter what shit life throws at us, there's no where else I'd rather be. I want to spend the rest of my life right here. 
With you.

threehundred'sixtyfour

What's the point? I mean, why do I put myself through this? I watched you break my heart and throw the pieces on the floor. And then I picked them up and handed them right back to you. I think that makes me stupid. I mean, seriously, I actually trusted you. And even when you disappointed me, I gave you another chance. That must make me the most foolish person in the world. Or maybe that just means I love you more than I actually love myself...

threehundred'sixtythree

Whenever I have a problem I sing...
But then I realise my voice is worse than my problem.

threehundred'sixtytwo

I wish I knew how to make my feelings stop.

threehundred'sixtyone

You threw me away just like all the others.
It's been seven days and not a single word.

threehundred'sixty

"Are you okay?" 
Why do people say it? Does "I'm fine" honestly not satisfy you? If so, you don't mean what you're asking. I mean, come on, look in my eyes - I'm not okay. You know I'm not okay. And you asking if I am is just reminding me how badly I'm not. I want someone to reach a little farther than just "Are you okay?" Instead of asking a question, make a statement. You're okay. It's going to be okay. It would mean so much more. We all need to look a little deeper. Nobody is ever okay.

threehundred'fiftynine

I just wanna know, is it over? Is there nothing left anymore? My mind's become a prison that I can't escape. Unanswered questions fill my mind and it's been crazy without you in my reach. Just tell me, are we done? I hate this, and I still feel like you're the only one who can save me..

threehundred'fiftyeight

You can't blame me for trying. I've gone through seasons waiting for you, with nothing changing but the weather. And I want to say that I'm okay being alone, and I want to show you I'm fine with being alone, but even if I said it I wouldn't mean it. To be quite honest the only thing getting me through these days is the false hope that things are going to be okay, that they're going to get better. But without you, I'm never okay because you're the only thing that makes me better.

threehundred'fiftyseven

All the things that surround me, all the things I have. And yet I am still so empty. The only thing that's missing is you. It's amazing how much one person can really affect your life.

threehundred'fiftysix

You know that feeling you get when you feel all kinds of sadness, memories rush through your head and you start to ache inside? When you feel all these emotions at once: nostalgia, sadness, hopelessness, unimportance... Well that's how I feel. And you know when it starts to build up, tears form in your eyes, your heart literally cries out - what comes next is usually the rush of tears flowing down, the sad sighs; and it feels so good to let it out... But no tears are falling down - the sadness and emotions are all built up inside, my heart still aches - but no tears come down... That's how empty I am. I have enough sadness in me to fill an ocean, but my emptiness takes over, and it is as if I am simply nothing. That's heartbreaking, isn't it? To be so lonely you can't even cry anymore...

threehundred'fiftyfive

Am I not even a thought at all in your mind? Because you occupy mine quite well. I know this is killing me, yet I can't let go.

threehundred'fiftyfour

I'm sorry, but I love you so much. I hope I do end up with you, because I just can't take it anymore. You're always on my mind, day and night. You're such a distraction for me, even being miles and miles away. My future gets brought up often by everyone. What am I doing? Where am I going? I don't know. I just know I want to be with you. These people here, they don't get me. They don't do it for me, they just don't. I love you. I always have and I always will. I've always known it. I've always known that you were the one. And I can't help myself anymore. I want to be with you. I want to spent the rest of my life with you. I'm sick of feeling so lost, so misunderstood, feeling like I don't belong. When you're here, it all goes away. I need you. We can make it together, I know it. I have faith in you, in us. Whenever you're ready, I'm here. I hope you realise one day that it's me. Because I'm always going to be here. You're the one. 

threehundred'fiftythree

As you get older, every choice that you make defines what person you're gonna turn into. And every once in a while, you need to look at yourself and ask if you like the person you're becoming.

threehundred'fiftytwo

There's nothing I could say to make you try and feel okay. And nothing you could do to stop me feeling the way I do. And if the chance should happen that I never see you again, just remember that I'll always love you...

threehundred'fiftyone

You can't just keep fucking with someone's feelings because you are unsure about your own.

threehundred'fifty

We spent most of our time talking about nothing, but I just want to let you know that all of these nothings have meant so much more to me than so many something's.

threehundred'fortynine

I think the hardest part of this whole situation is that neither of us knows what's going on. Neither of us knows what the other is thinking. And we are both trying to make decisions on something we don't really know.

threehundred'fortyeight

You're chatting to me, like we connect
But I don't even know if we're still friends
It's so confusing,
Understanding you is making me not want to..

threehundred'fortyseven

Dear friend,
I'm going to write to you and tell you what I want to say, but what I don't have the courage to.
I love you, you know that much. But at times in the past, I've really disliked you. You've made me cry, you've made me lose sleep, but despite all that, I don't want to lose you. You've been there when I've needed someone to cheer me up, and without knowing it you really have; I don't know what I would have done without you. And now you're leaving, to start a new life. I wish you every happiness, and I hope you succeed in whatever you choose to do. Just please, don't forget about me. Because I'll never forget about you.
Lots of love,
A friend.

threehundred'fortysix

Friendship; two people choose each other through some mysterious mix of alchemy and circumstance. On the surface the reason for our choice seems obvious, they share our interests, they make us laugh. But isn't there more to it than that? And do we really ever stop to wonder, why this person and not another?

Friendship; it begins when two people choose each other, but what happens when we out grow the choice? When little by little our paths diverge, our needs change, and one day we may wake up and realise we need to choose something different...

threehundred'fortyfive

You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, someone who wont complicate your life. 

Somebody who won't hurt you.

threehundred'fortyfour

I hope that you find yourself. And I hope that when you do, you don't regret a thing. The past can't be changed, but you can change yourself.

threehundred'fortythree

You know that feeling? When you're just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one's going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping. And you're still wishing. And you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You're fighting.

threehundred'fortytwo

You change for two reasons.
Either you learn enough that you want to..
Or you've been hurt enough that you have to...

threehundred'fortyone

I usually don't like thinking about the future. I mean let's face it, you can't predict what's going to happen. But sometimes, the thing you didn’t expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you're going and just enjoy where you're at.

threehundred'forty

Maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do,
but rather what we're capable of when we least expect it.

threehundred'thirtynine

Do you ever get the feeling where you don't want to talk to anyone, and you don't want to smile and don't want to fake being happy, but all at the same time you really don't know what's exactly wrong either?

threehundred'thirtyeight

This is failure. It's that moment when you realize that a choice you made, or something you did, has fully changed the course of your life. But what matters even more than this truth is what you do choose to do once you know it. The tendency may be to curl up in the foetal position and wait for things to improve. But if you can somehow manage to take a breath and look around you, you might just spot another path you hadn't seen before. It may not be easy to walk, especially the beginning. But all that really matters is that it's there.

threehundred'thirtyseven

I guess to some extent, you get used to being alone. You get used to not expecting phone calls and having nothing to do at night. You don’t expect to turn around to open arms any longer. The small sounds have been replaced by silence. Your thoughts echo through your head, with no one to share them with. All in all, being alone isn’t terrible, it just hurts like hell.

threehundred'thirtysix

I've learned that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had and what
you've learned from them and less to do with
how many birthdays you've celebrated.

threehundred'thirtyfive

would it kill you to care as much as I do?

threehundred'thirtyfour

It has been said: "time heals all wounds." I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never truly gone...

threehundred'thirtythree

and, sometimes despite all your best choices
and all your good intentions, fate wins anyway.

threehundred'thirtytwo

Ten months gone, and I'm still reaching,
even though I know you're not there.

threehundred'thirtyone

Am I a good person? Deep down, do I even really want to be a good person, or do I only want to seem like a good person so that people (including myself) will approve of me? Is there a difference? How do I ever actually know whether I'm fooling myself, morally speaking?

threehundred'thirty

I'm done trying to change myself for other people.
From now on, I'm going to be me.