I knew you once. That feels so good to say outloud.
When we were still chasing something sunlit and violent, something whole and wide-awake. I know a lot of things I didn't know about then. Like how scared you are, right before everything's about to change. The fear lingers, especially waiting for destiny. How the second you lean over the edge all of a sudden you realize that nothing will ever be the same. I know a lot of things. I know how hard it is when it's clear that the people you love only know a single facet of who you are. You're left fractured and changed. Why? Because you're soft and dawning, you're the careful youth left burning; but I knew you once. I thought I was living just to crumble from the inside. I'd listen to your words and hold them like they were all I'd have when you finally left - and I knew you were always just a last minute feeling away from leaving and forgetting..
But this isn't about that. This is about the way I knew you once.
This is for the yellow leaves of November that I don't know if you still remember when we met.
For those hidden words you told me, when you wanted to cover the feeling and the moment in a way that none of us could ever hold it. For the way that no one could understand what we had. For the way your accent always knew the softest way to pronounce the vowels in my name.
This is for how the sky won't ever be that blue again.
Maybe this is for nothing. But maybe this is for everything.
Maybe it is sad how everything we had is just something I vaguely remember now. Maybe it is sad to miss something you spend most of the time forgetting you ever had. But maybe it's not. And it's too late to tell you all of those things we left unsaid. It's too late to tell you that, had we never found each other, maybe we would have never walked away. But this is not the place for goodbyes.
Because everything's about to change. We are scared and sad but we're still young and we're still brave.
We are leaning over the edge, we are suddenly realizing that nothing will ever be the same. And that's okay. We are going to find something violent and sunlit, something whole and wide-awake.
And you better swear to me, goddamnit you better swear, that this will never be the place for goodbyes.
When we were still chasing something sunlit and violent, something whole and wide-awake. I know a lot of things I didn't know about then. Like how scared you are, right before everything's about to change. The fear lingers, especially waiting for destiny. How the second you lean over the edge all of a sudden you realize that nothing will ever be the same. I know a lot of things. I know how hard it is when it's clear that the people you love only know a single facet of who you are. You're left fractured and changed. Why? Because you're soft and dawning, you're the careful youth left burning; but I knew you once. I thought I was living just to crumble from the inside. I'd listen to your words and hold them like they were all I'd have when you finally left - and I knew you were always just a last minute feeling away from leaving and forgetting..
But this isn't about that. This is about the way I knew you once.
This is for the yellow leaves of November that I don't know if you still remember when we met.
For those hidden words you told me, when you wanted to cover the feeling and the moment in a way that none of us could ever hold it. For the way that no one could understand what we had. For the way your accent always knew the softest way to pronounce the vowels in my name.
This is for how the sky won't ever be that blue again.
Maybe this is for nothing. But maybe this is for everything.
Maybe it is sad how everything we had is just something I vaguely remember now. Maybe it is sad to miss something you spend most of the time forgetting you ever had. But maybe it's not. And it's too late to tell you all of those things we left unsaid. It's too late to tell you that, had we never found each other, maybe we would have never walked away. But this is not the place for goodbyes.
Because everything's about to change. We are scared and sad but we're still young and we're still brave.
We are leaning over the edge, we are suddenly realizing that nothing will ever be the same. And that's okay. We are going to find something violent and sunlit, something whole and wide-awake.
And you better swear to me, goddamnit you better swear, that this will never be the place for goodbyes.
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