fivehundred'ninetyfour

And this is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why, if they have hurt you so much, do you continue to love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do. And then, after a while, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were - an empty soul and teary eyed. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt. Because no matter who they are - it didn't happen to them. And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that you are basically alone with all of this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just breakdown, right there, because you've had enough. The tears just instantly start flowing, and you're at a point where you don't care who sees. Because you've spent many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by your scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that it's not helping at all, and it's not going to bring them back, if you even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself together and keep going. You find a way to deal with it. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says "it will be okay..." But you know it won't. And that's the truth. It's won't. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realise that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've leaned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you hear this person's name, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart - yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't feel it. And you sit there and wonder how one person could have caused all of this.