twohundred'eightyfive

I needed to know that I meant something, anything to you.
But what I got was nothing, absolutely nothing.
And it's funny, the things you realise when someone walks away.
At first you feel as though it's all your fault.
Feeling like nothing, so close to falling apart.
And then, in time, you come to the realisation that you cannot be totally to blame.

twohundred'eightyfour

Sometimes, we're too into the moment to look at the big picture. We fail to see things in perspective because we're too absorbed in what's taking place at that very instance. The thing is we should face reality. Find ourselves from being lost in the moment and think about everything the way it is. Because sometimes being realistic can save us from pain and disappointment.

twohundred'eightythree

Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that.

twohundred'eightytwo

I'm the girl who's never been given a chance, the girls who's always been single, who's always had a crush on a guy that didn't care. I'm the girl who hides her feelings, the girl who doesn't know how to flirt, who's always lying when the tears are falling. I'm the girl who wonders what's wrong with her, the girl who would change for him, who's always thinking about what could have been.

twohundred'eightyone

And you take a moment
Promise me this:
That you'll stand by me forever
But if God forbid fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children someday
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name.

twohundred'eighty

There's nothing I could say to make you try and feel okay. And nothing you could do to stop me feeling the way I do. And if the chance should happen that I never see you again, just remember that I'll always love you

twohundred'seventynine

I'm so vulnerable when I'm around you.
And for some strange reason, it doesn't scare me at all.

twohundred'seventyeight

If you're here to apologize, I don't want to hear it. You've had your chance, too many in fact, and I mean this when I say it, I'm finally ready to let you go. Because you've let me down too many times before. And I was a fool to keep taking you back, to keep loving you with all I've got when you only ever give something like 12% of your love to me. It hasn't been fair on me, I've been giving my all and you've been pushing me away, pulling me back, pushing me away and then reeling me back in when it's convenient for you. I can't keep going on like this, I can't keep wasting my love on someone who is less than deserving. I can't keep destroying myself, I can't have you in my life anymore, so goodbye.

twohundred'seventyseven

Yes I still exist.
If you had somehow
forgotten.

twohundred'seventysix

I give second chances. I give third chances. I give fourth and fifth and sixth and seventh chances. But as soon as I've lost track of how many chances I've given you, that's when I draw the line.

twohundred'seventyfive

Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting all my time waiting for my life to start. I’d rather trip and fall then never try. I don’t want to waste another day while the world goes by. I wanna live it,I wanna breathe it, I wanna feel it for myself.

twohundred'seventyfour

All I ask of you is to be honest with me. Nothing more and nothing less.
Just make your point and then shut up, 'cause I can't stand this.

twohundred'seventythree

This is me moving on. And I know I'll see you around, and you may look my way, but I wont know because I wont be looking at you. I'm going to be happy again, I'm getting my life back. If you can change, then so can I, and I'm changing for the better. I'm cutting the ties with you, and perhaps one day we'll speak again, but I'm not holding my breath for that. I'm chalking up this experience and I've got memories that make me smile, but I've got more that make me cry. So this is goodbye.

twohundred'seventytwo

I refuse to cry over you any more. Yes, I still care. To be honest, I think I'll always care. But lifes too short and I'm going to do my best to be happy, with or without you.

twohundred'seventyone

I always have this fear that one day you are going to discover that I'm not as great as you once thought I was.
You realised.