twohundred'fortythree

I don't remember where and I don't remember when. I don't even remember the season. I just know that there must have been a time I felt like I belonged someplace.

twohundred'fortytwo

Sometimes you need to be alone. Sometimes, you just don't want to be comforted. Because you need the chance to take it in. All that has been, all the pain left behind. The best cure is time on your own to analyze, time to pull yourself together again and time to see that all you ever wanted is now nothing but a fading memory. Time to let it go, and time to start again.

twohundred'fortyone

Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling. Reduction, see? Of all feeling. People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile.

twohundred'forty

I often wonder if life is easier for other people - Or they're just better at faking it.

twohundred'thirtynine

I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else.

twohundred'thirtyeight

I used to be comfortable in sadness.
There was a relative warmth in the loneliness I felt, in the hopelessness I felt.
I didn't want help; pity engrossed me instead.

twohundred'thirtyseven

You're letting her think you're emotionally available. You're letting her think she has a chance. And there is nothing worse in the world then thinking you have a chance, when you really don't.

twohundred'thirtysix

It's funny how when you start to grow up. You don't want stupid material things. You want things that matter. Like a father, or a letter. Or just a friend.

twohundred'thirtyfive

Sometimes I really wonder if all this bullshit is really worth it.

At times it seems that everything I do makes my life worse.

There's no excuse for the lies he told me,

but the way he hurt me and the way he made me cry

was almost too beautiful to believe...

twohundred'thirtyfour

I know that we're not friends. But it's just the memories. Everyday life brings me memories I once had tucked safely to the back of the back of my heart. I'm not in pain anymore, I'm over the heartbreak. But it's the memories that hurt, it's every little thing that once made me happy. The memories make me cry.

twohundred'thirtythree

You never promised to stick around, so I don't know why I expected you to. I guess I just wanted to believe you were better when everyone knew you weren't.

twohundred'thirtytwo

You're right, I'm not who I once was..
because we aren't what we once were.

twohundred'thirtyone

Nothing is certain anymore.
I don't know what in the world is the right thing to do,
and so I'm stuck here in a place I don't want to be.
I don't want to sit back and watch you be fine without me.
I don't want to cry and carry on like
I have been doing for the past weeks.
I just want not to want you anymore.
I want to, hell I need to, just move on.

twohundred'thirty

The bad part about hoping so high is that sometimes reality comes crashing in and with hopes so high turned down so low, you're thrashed about carelessly. It hurts when you are looking forward to something, having faith and hoping hard but life gets in the way and suddenly you're down and depressed, wondering why you ever bothered to try in the first place.

twohundred'twentynine

I just don't feel like I know myself very
well right now, so how can I be sure about
anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward,
you know, like I don't belong in my own skin,
and I get so frustrated at everything, I could
just scream and there's no reason for it.